In our world exist certain relationship myths. These are misguided (though perhaps well-intentioned) ideas about love and relationships that our society has grown to accept as truth, spouting them to the next generations as given facts of romantic wisdom. The cycle of these love lies continues on and on, reflected in popular culture and the media.
I’m here to tell you that many ideas about relationships out there are absolute bullshit.
Depending on your degree of self-awareness, you may be immune to many or most of these relationship myths, but unfortunately, a lot of them are still pervasive in our society. This is the case even if we don’t speak them out loud, and even if much of general wisdom has turned against them. Yet there they remain, causing confusion and even pain.
These types of relationship myths can be highly damaging because they don’t match with real people and their real feelings. They are lofty “ideals” that rarely apply in real situations.
For instance, there’s a revolving idea that each person has one other person they are destined to be with, often called a soulmate. Even if you claim to not believe this idea, doesn’t a small, teeny-weeny part of you still believe it, or want to believe it? I’m not going to lie: even I sometimes fall under the spell of this notion. After all, it’s a beautiful one, perpetuated by the magic of fairy tales and romantic comedies. It would be nice to be free from the pressure of decision making and instead rely solely on the whims of fate.
But alas, we are in charge of our own paths and destinies. And truth be told, the idea of there being just one person that is your romantic destiny creates unrealistic expectations about partnerships, not to mention generating fear and anxiety about never finding “the one.” More on this later.
I’m especially passionate about debunking ideas surrounding relationship anxiety. Anxiety of this nature is very real and painful, but it is often brushed off with catch-all statements like “doubt means don’t” or “relationships should be easy.” So you begin to think you always have to be 100% certain and 100% happy for your relationship to be “right.”
Nope, guys. That’s some bullshit there, and we’re going to weed through it.
Ready? Put on your practical hats cause we’re ’bout to get rational.